Feeling Hopeless? This Is How You Can Find and Maintain Hope In Hard Times
But how we can find and maintain hope when everything looks hopeless?
I asked this question the expert in "hope" Richard Miller, clinical director of the Center for the Advanced Study and Practice of Hope at Arizona State University. He is also the author of “The Soul, Science and Culture of Hope".
Richard, the coronavirus pandemics put us in unprecedented times. How does it affect our mental health?
Curiously, the current pandemic, although it appears overwhelming and agonizing to all who have never experienced such a global and excruciating health crisis it is not unprecedented.
Every generation has experienced similar worldwide damage, distress, and suffering whether it be caused by world or civil wars, epidemics, natural disasters, plagues, civil unrest, depressions, or recessions. Yet the human spirit is unique. We are a resilient and, in most instances, hopeful encouraging us to bounce back and move on.
No doubt though, the impact to our mental state in this current condition is concerning and I do not want to underestimate its impact nor do I want to allow us to resign to the misfortune that we are facing. We all are feeling the impact of the pandemic emotionally, physically, and economically.
Some of us are more vulnerable to these challenges than others. Some people are more resilient and optimistic about the future. Others are certainly suffering, and many feel pessimistic or even depressed. Even though all seven billion people on earth are impacted by the Coronavirus at some level we often feel alone to personally manage its impact. It is hard, but we as humans are stronger than we sometimes give ourselves credit.
But when we are struggling mentally with this level of uncertainty, we must remember to treat our mental health like we treat our physical and dental health. If you have a tooth ache most likely you would seek out a dentist. If you are experiencing physical pain you would visit a physician and if you are struggling with your feelings whether that be fear, anxiety, depression or general sadness or concern seek help – your body and mind are telling you that things aren’t right. Listen to your mind-body messages it is asking for help.
Most cultures accept the body’s message to seek help, but many cultures have not been kind to our understanding and acceptance that the mind equally needs attention to protect its mental health. Our cultures have taught us to hide our feelings and our thoughts. Yet physically and mentally healthy people are vigilant in protecting their health. They no when to seek help.
I asked this question the expert in "hope" Richard Miller, clinical director of the Center for the Advanced Study and Practice of Hope at Arizona State University. He is also the author of “The Soul, Science and Culture of Hope".
Curiously, the current pandemic, although it appears overwhelming and agonizing to all who have never experienced such a global and excruciating health crisis it is not unprecedented.
Every generation has experienced similar worldwide damage, distress, and suffering whether it be caused by world or civil wars, epidemics, natural disasters, plagues, civil unrest, depressions, or recessions. Yet the human spirit is unique. We are a resilient and, in most instances, hopeful encouraging us to bounce back and move on.
No doubt though, the impact to our mental state in this current condition is concerning and I do not want to underestimate its impact nor do I want to allow us to resign to the misfortune that we are facing. We all are feeling the impact of the pandemic emotionally, physically, and economically.
Some of us are more vulnerable to these challenges than others. Some people are more resilient and optimistic about the future. Others are certainly suffering, and many feel pessimistic or even depressed. Even though all seven billion people on earth are impacted by the Coronavirus at some level we often feel alone to personally manage its impact. It is hard, but we as humans are stronger than we sometimes give ourselves credit.
But when we are struggling mentally with this level of uncertainty, we must remember to treat our mental health like we treat our physical and dental health. If you have a tooth ache most likely you would seek out a dentist. If you are experiencing physical pain you would visit a physician and if you are struggling with your feelings whether that be fear, anxiety, depression or general sadness or concern seek help – your body and mind are telling you that things aren’t right. Listen to your mind-body messages it is asking for help.
Most cultures accept the body’s message to seek help, but many cultures have not been kind to our understanding and acceptance that the mind equally needs attention to protect its mental health. Our cultures have taught us to hide our feelings and our thoughts. Yet physically and mentally healthy people are vigilant in protecting their health. They no when to seek help.
You are an expert in “Hope”. How important is hope as a crucial coping mechanism in crisis times like this?
The capacity and ability to be hopeful is a gift given to each of us. It is not an accident that we have the aptitude to see beyond the past and present and into the future. No other life form is so blessed. That skill is like other gifts offered to us humans and with that similarity it must be recognized and further developed. Unlike optimism which is the propensity to believe tomorrow will be better than today, hope requires us not to just believe or wish it but to do something about it. While optimism is positive it is also passive. Hope requires action.
We have been studying the dynamic of hope for the past three decades in trying to understand its characteristics. What we have learned is that hopeful people do better facing life’s challenges and opportunities than people without hope. Hopeful people do not surrender to the conditions that befall them rather they face them head on. The question then is if hope is good for us and some people seem to have a lot of it and do well, others have some of it but seek more, and too many people struggle finding it, where does hope come from and as importantly, how do we develop it? Like other skills sets we are offered, hope is taught and learned. Hope not only helps one cope with life ‘s calamites and tragedies it allows and encourages us to navigate through them and emerge on the other side stronger.
The capacity and ability to be hopeful is a gift given to each of us. It is not an accident that we have the aptitude to see beyond the past and present and into the future. No other life form is so blessed. That skill is like other gifts offered to us humans and with that similarity it must be recognized and further developed. Unlike optimism which is the propensity to believe tomorrow will be better than today, hope requires us not to just believe or wish it but to do something about it. While optimism is positive it is also passive. Hope requires action.
We have been studying the dynamic of hope for the past three decades in trying to understand its characteristics. What we have learned is that hopeful people do better facing life’s challenges and opportunities than people without hope. Hopeful people do not surrender to the conditions that befall them rather they face them head on. The question then is if hope is good for us and some people seem to have a lot of it and do well, others have some of it but seek more, and too many people struggle finding it, where does hope come from and as importantly, how do we develop it? Like other skills sets we are offered, hope is taught and learned. Hope not only helps one cope with life ‘s calamites and tragedies it allows and encourages us to navigate through them and emerge on the other side stronger.
You said, “hope is a choice”. But where we could find hope when future looks hopeless especially in terms of Covid-19 pandemics?
Hope is a choice and so is hopelessness. Often, we default to our unconscious to make that choice for us. Many times, our unconscious looks for the easy way out and by doing so regrettably exercises the option to give up. Remember hope is a gift - an endowment passed on from generation to generation not only to keep us safe but to encourage us to thrive.
If you are gifted with musical talent but chose not to practice or create because it seems to be too much work your true gift will never be realized. The most gifted people in the world do not take their gifts for granted. Regardless of how gifted they are they practice, practice, practice. Our gift is hope. That is a scientific fact. Each day we must practice being hopeful. We begin by making good choices. If we chose to spend a lot of time with hopeless and pessimistic people, we will begin to act like them. If we chose to recall our problems and fears, we will become hostage to them. If we allow our negative thoughts to control us our brain will rewire itself to be negative and hopeless.
When we face catastrophic change and threats that seem beyond our control as we currently are with COVID our brain is on high alert. Biologically we are offered two basic instinctive options - we can try to run away from the threat, or we can try to fight it. In terms of COVID neither seem to be good options. But there is a cognitive option. Beyond reacting we reflect. The good news is neuroscience has revealed to us how plastic our brain is. Our brain is an evolving and changing organ and can rewire itself if we give it permission to do so. In other words, we can in many instances chose the brain we want. I recognize its not as easy as it sounds but those who embrace that knowledge are better equipped to succeed.
Hope is a choice and so is hopelessness. Often, we default to our unconscious to make that choice for us. Many times, our unconscious looks for the easy way out and by doing so regrettably exercises the option to give up. Remember hope is a gift - an endowment passed on from generation to generation not only to keep us safe but to encourage us to thrive.
If you are gifted with musical talent but chose not to practice or create because it seems to be too much work your true gift will never be realized. The most gifted people in the world do not take their gifts for granted. Regardless of how gifted they are they practice, practice, practice. Our gift is hope. That is a scientific fact. Each day we must practice being hopeful. We begin by making good choices. If we chose to spend a lot of time with hopeless and pessimistic people, we will begin to act like them. If we chose to recall our problems and fears, we will become hostage to them. If we allow our negative thoughts to control us our brain will rewire itself to be negative and hopeless.
When we face catastrophic change and threats that seem beyond our control as we currently are with COVID our brain is on high alert. Biologically we are offered two basic instinctive options - we can try to run away from the threat, or we can try to fight it. In terms of COVID neither seem to be good options. But there is a cognitive option. Beyond reacting we reflect. The good news is neuroscience has revealed to us how plastic our brain is. Our brain is an evolving and changing organ and can rewire itself if we give it permission to do so. In other words, we can in many instances chose the brain we want. I recognize its not as easy as it sounds but those who embrace that knowledge are better equipped to succeed.
What are your best tips to boost hope today and to manage our mental health?
First send positive thoughts to your brain. Positive thoughts to the brain are like fruits, vegetables, and protein for the body. Give you body what it needs to be well nourished and do the same for the brain. A simple positive affirmation can work wonders. Second, keep a daily gratitude journal. Remind yourself of the many good things that happen each day. A baby’s smile, a warm shower, nice meal, a loving family, or simply finishing a project. The list is endless but often we forget the positive. Your brain wants to be healthy. Help it out. Third, hang out with positive people. As a social species we love to connect and belong. The choice is yours, spend a lot of time with pessimistic and hopeless people and you will begin to mimic that behaviour. That is not healthy. Choose hope.
First send positive thoughts to your brain. Positive thoughts to the brain are like fruits, vegetables, and protein for the body. Give you body what it needs to be well nourished and do the same for the brain. A simple positive affirmation can work wonders. Second, keep a daily gratitude journal. Remind yourself of the many good things that happen each day. A baby’s smile, a warm shower, nice meal, a loving family, or simply finishing a project. The list is endless but often we forget the positive. Your brain wants to be healthy. Help it out. Third, hang out with positive people. As a social species we love to connect and belong. The choice is yours, spend a lot of time with pessimistic and hopeless people and you will begin to mimic that behaviour. That is not healthy. Choose hope.
In your TEDx talk you tell the transformational story of a friend of yours –„from a depth of hopelessness to the heights of achievement “. How we can move from hopelessness to hopefulness?
Think of a ladder with ten rungs. The lowest rung represents the worst life you can live. The highest rung the best life. Now think about which rung you are today. Now think about which rung you would like to be on in two, or three years. If you can imagine a higher rung than you are on today you have taken the first step to become more hopeful.
The second step is to define what that higher rung looks like. Be as specific as possible. Now count the rungs between where you are and where you believe you can be if you truly set your mind to its achievement. As you move up the ladder define each rung as an incremental step. Every journey, every climb begins with the first step. When you take that first step regardless of how small it is, it creates hope. More steps, more hope.
Think of a ladder with ten rungs. The lowest rung represents the worst life you can live. The highest rung the best life. Now think about which rung you are today. Now think about which rung you would like to be on in two, or three years. If you can imagine a higher rung than you are on today you have taken the first step to become more hopeful.
The second step is to define what that higher rung looks like. Be as specific as possible. Now count the rungs between where you are and where you believe you can be if you truly set your mind to its achievement. As you move up the ladder define each rung as an incremental step. Every journey, every climb begins with the first step. When you take that first step regardless of how small it is, it creates hope. More steps, more hope.
You said that “hope is the ability to visit your future, return to the present and prepare for the journey”. How can we as adults learn that?
Yes, there is a concept in psychology and neuroscience known as mental time travel. Mental time travel is how the brain envisions its future and then creates a plan to move from the present to what is imagined. Like the 10 rung ladder I noted earlier, we now move to more specificity. In order mentally time travel you need to know where you are going. Future is such an abstract word so let us define it for this exercise. When you think about your future picture four destinations. Visualize your family, community, education and career, and community and service. Create goals in each of those four domains. Where you are today and where you plan to be at a designated time in the future, (usually 2-3 years). Be as specific as possible. Now create a pathway, a route to move you from where you are to where you want to be. Understand there may be some roadblocks so make sure you have multiple pathways in case a route is blocked. Do not give up if one path is closed. Lastly, decide how much gas you will need in your personal psyche and physical gas tank to take the journey. Lots of people have great goals and great strategies to pursue those goals but lack the motivation to do anything about it. Some have great goals, great energy and no strategy or pathway. To be hopeful you need all three, goals, pathways, and agency (personal motivation and energy).
Yes, there is a concept in psychology and neuroscience known as mental time travel. Mental time travel is how the brain envisions its future and then creates a plan to move from the present to what is imagined. Like the 10 rung ladder I noted earlier, we now move to more specificity. In order mentally time travel you need to know where you are going. Future is such an abstract word so let us define it for this exercise. When you think about your future picture four destinations. Visualize your family, community, education and career, and community and service. Create goals in each of those four domains. Where you are today and where you plan to be at a designated time in the future, (usually 2-3 years). Be as specific as possible. Now create a pathway, a route to move you from where you are to where you want to be. Understand there may be some roadblocks so make sure you have multiple pathways in case a route is blocked. Do not give up if one path is closed. Lastly, decide how much gas you will need in your personal psyche and physical gas tank to take the journey. Lots of people have great goals and great strategies to pursue those goals but lack the motivation to do anything about it. Some have great goals, great energy and no strategy or pathway. To be hopeful you need all three, goals, pathways, and agency (personal motivation and energy).
How could a nation relearn the belief system of pessimism and become more hopeful?
We become who are cultures want us to become. Cultures are how we find our place in space and time. How we fit in. Cultures have their own DNA, and that DNA is shared by our shared beliefs, our rituals, our traditions, and our language. Some cultures encourage and advance healthy diets, recreational activities, spirituality, etc. You have noted that Bulgaria may be characterized as a pessimistic nation. Becoming a hopeful country is a wonderful goal that will energize your citizens and offer its youth a sense of self determination and achievement. Learning hope begins by envisioning how your nation would benefit from learning how to seed and grow a culture of hope. To that end hope must be taught as part of a community and country culture. I would begin in a few areas as pilots and allow the other regions of the country to learn from this initiative. There is no downside and only a huge upside in becoming a country defined by hope. Science tells us hopeful people are happier, healthier, achieve many of their goals, enjoy and are supported in their relationships and live longer. If all that is associated with hope, why wouldn’t you want to be hopeful and live in a hopeful country?
We become who are cultures want us to become. Cultures are how we find our place in space and time. How we fit in. Cultures have their own DNA, and that DNA is shared by our shared beliefs, our rituals, our traditions, and our language. Some cultures encourage and advance healthy diets, recreational activities, spirituality, etc. You have noted that Bulgaria may be characterized as a pessimistic nation. Becoming a hopeful country is a wonderful goal that will energize your citizens and offer its youth a sense of self determination and achievement. Learning hope begins by envisioning how your nation would benefit from learning how to seed and grow a culture of hope. To that end hope must be taught as part of a community and country culture. I would begin in a few areas as pilots and allow the other regions of the country to learn from this initiative. There is no downside and only a huge upside in becoming a country defined by hope. Science tells us hopeful people are happier, healthier, achieve many of their goals, enjoy and are supported in their relationships and live longer. If all that is associated with hope, why wouldn’t you want to be hopeful and live in a hopeful country?
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